He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
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