It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
