haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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