Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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