HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize