i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
they call him Oral-B. enough said
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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