quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
