remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
