I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
