Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
