Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
