I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
