Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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