i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
