My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
