Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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