my mouth tastes like poor choices
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
worst night to have a conscience
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
