Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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