Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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