all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
where does the pee come out of this thing
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
