Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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