Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
