found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize