I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
how does that bad decision feel?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize