I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
