I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
