how can u be prego again
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm both gender and math confused
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
