im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize