There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
