if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
