I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
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