he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize