Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
