How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
