Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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