Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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