drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize