i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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