She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
