It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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