i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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