My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
