just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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