Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
