As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
