I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
