their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
be right there i have to get my cape
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
