So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
