When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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