Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
