I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize