Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
