Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
