covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I want to be your penis for a week.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
