i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
