do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
