i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
This couple is walking their pig around campus
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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