She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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