I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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