Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
