Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
