I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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