Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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