:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
